Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Everyone Loves (Pandering to) Parents!

It's not some controversial topic, so I'll keep this short: Enough fucking pandering already. Parents especially don't deserve it. Their jobs are necessary for the continuation of humanity and an act of choice (or an act of failure-to-make-a-choice). For these reasons and more they definitely don't need holidays or, at the very least, they don't need the kind of pandering nonsense they receive from the media on these holidays.

The local news down here in Nowheresville, Maryland is quite abysmal to begin with. I originally figured that the news networks down here, what with being located in the nation's capital, would be at the top of their game. This could not be farther from the truth. They read teleprompters like a dyslexic 4th-grader and have the comic ability of a TGIF sitcom. For Father's Day, one of the anchors said this:

One of the douchebag sports anchors on NBC\DC4:
Without fathers, there'd be no baseball... think about that!
What a fuckwitted segue. Seriously? You thought that was clever? I took the bait and thought about it. In roughly a tenth of a second I realized:
  • Without fathers, there'd be no human race
  • Without stromatolites, there'd be no land creatures
  • Without cataclysmic extinction events, there'd probably be few, if any, of the lifeforms we know on the planet.
  • A decade or so from now Project Natal-like gesture-based user interfaces could be standard and the middle finger I threw at the screen could appropriately change the channel like I wanted it to.
On the other hand, sometimes the ball(s) of a particular type of pandering can be quite amusing. If you've ever watched USA, you know that House, MD reruns make up at least 60% of their schedule. They try to justify this by having constant marathons, such as "End of the Weekenditis," "Seven Deadly Sins," and perhaps the best yet: the Mother's Day "Mother of All Marathons."

One final note: Hooray for people who read blogs (clicktheadclicktheadclickthead)!

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